Working with people who use violence
- The Secret Keeper
- 4 days ago
- 4 min read
Over the last six months I have found myself working more with “perpetrators” of violent crime including domestic violence, assault, and murder. I won’t go into how this deviation of clientele profile came about but I wanted to share because I have had a rapid alteration of knowledge and perception about who these people are and aren’t, and most importantly who they wish to be going forward.
I have been questioned by peers about my willingness to place myself in danger by choosing to sit in a room alone with them. To that I say, ‘I only work with folks willing to engage with therapy, I am in no danger’. They have requested therapy, they are not mandated clients, so are actively seeking amends.
Are we making an error in judgement labelling people that have used violence for whatever reason, is that judgement a limiter that does not allow forward movement for them or us as therapists and people. Would it be better instead to consider all the parts of the man or woman that has behaved in ways unacceptable in polite society? Why does this behaviour occur? Would we be better asking what happened to you, rather than why did you do this?
The language we use is so important in other areas of therapy for healing, why would it be any different for people who want to deal with the events in their lives that have led them down a path of unhelpful, unhealthy, and ultimately dangerous and/or fatal behaviours.
Take a moment
Take a moment to consider this and be honest with yourself about answers:
Have you ever told a lie?
Would you consider yourself a liar?
What would happen if someone called you a liar?
Do you judge yourself on the event or circumstances of the lie and own the label of liar or be called a liar because of that lie? Or do you simply say I lied, and move on with your life knowing the reason behind the lie. Do you even confess to the lie or hold that shame within.
There is a difference between an event and an identity.
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I think it’s also important to remind ourselves about what Rogers had to say about the core conditions of therapy by asking a few questions:
“empathy, congruence and unconditional positive regard” Rodgers 1957
Empathy; is every client worthy of empathy from their therapist? Is everyone worth of empathy regardless of what they have done if they show remorse? How is empathy demonstrated to our clients?
Congruence; Does the therapist need to be genuine in their desire to assist a client in distress or pain? Does the client need to show a desire for change?
Unconditional positive regard; when working with clients do we suspend judgement and show a warmth that encourages connection that facilitates change in whoever we’re working with?
When I commenced my training to be a counsellor over a decade ago, I knew I wanted to be a sex therapist. Through careful curation I have achieved that even though one of my lecturers said, “calm down Frances, your specialty will find you” If you’d have asked me a year ago I would have said that wildlife carers and the unique challenges they face would be that specialty, yet I find myself increasingly immersing myself in working with a cohort of people society often forget or choose to ignore because “they’re criminals”, when not forgotten they are vilified even once their sentences are completed and they are released back into the world, sometimes after many years where time has stood still for them. One chappie I have met is nearing the end of a 30+-year sentence.
When he was last in the outside world, smart phones didn’t exist, there was four television channels, the internet was in its early days, Windows 95 had just been released, and Toy Story was the height of technological advance in film. He has never held a smart phone and would have no clue how to order food via a QR code or buy items from Amazon. Every day occurrence for most but significant barriers for those landed in modern day with little knowledge of how it works.
Does he deserve a chance to live the remaining years of his life with some ease? Do you believe that he should pay for his crimes forever? Or if he is willing to do the emotional and psychological work, does he deserve the opportunity to work on the emotional scars caused by events that led to his crimes?
I believe it is right that people wanting to access therapeutic interventions deserve the same opportunity to attend therapy if they choose too. Just as anyone can make the choice to change unhelpful behaviours. After all, therapy may be the difference between going on to lead a productive life and give back to a society or reoffending simply because they cannot live in a world that refuses to acknowledge all people deserve a chance to change. I don’t believe there is a right or wrong answer to these questions, I think it’s a conundrum with nuance and variables, however I would encourage you to consider if it’s helpful to continue judging folk by events in their lives, rather than identity society prescribes.
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Interested in learning more about working with people who have used violence and wish to make change in their life?There are some courses, sadly they are very focused on domestic and family violence. Here are a few ongoing professional development options:
NSW Health Education Centre against Violence: https://www.ecav.health.nsw.gov.au/courses/full-course-list Longer form training of days rather than single days, and including Nationally Recognised certificates and units that contribute to qualifications.
1800 Respect https://1800respect.org.au/training-professional-development Not the easiest to get hold of and no schedule advertised so it’s difficult to work into your annual OPD plan.
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